clackups / demo Public

Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?

I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.

I'm sorry for that, for your sake. I don't play accurately--any one can play accurately--but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.

Yes, sir.

And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the cucumber sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?

Yes, sir.

Oh, by the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when Lord Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of champagne are entered as having been consumed.

Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.

Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.

I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate brand.

Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralizing as that?

I believe it is a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present. I have only been married once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.

I don't know that I am much interested in your family life, Lane.

No, sir; it is not a very interesting subject. I never think of it myself.

Very natural, I am sure. That will do, Lane, thank you.

Thank you, sir.